Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Best 'First Dance' song ever

Everyone always picks boring songs for their first dance at a wedding.

If I were getting married, you know what I'd pick? Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells. Think about it, how awesome would that be? There's so much to recommend.

For starters, the music begins sounding sufficiently creepy that they made it the theme to the movie 'The Exorcist'. Whatever dance you choose to do will seem hilarious inappropriate no matter what you pick.

Secondly, it's so damn long - the two sides between them take up 48 minutes and 18 seconds. You can find parts 2 and 3 here and here. People who didn't know the song would be wondering what the hell was going on. People who did know the song would find themselves thinking 'surely they're not going to dance to the whole thing?'. Only slowly would the horrifying realisation dawn upon them.

Musically, it goes through all sorts of odd bits, including the booming voice announcing the musical instruments, and the strange growling demonic sound at another part. And finally, the piece ends with 1:45 of the sailor's hornpipe, a piece only marginally less suited to the first dance at a wedding than the Exorcist theme beginning.

Face it, everyone would hate you, but it would be the funniest prank ever. Which, I assume, is what you really want in a wedding.


  1. I wanted to have "Where is my mind" by Pixies (not for a dance, just as the first song after breaking the glass). But we settled on "Here comes your man." Marriage is all about compromises.

  2. 'Where is my mind' would have been a winner. You could have gone for the Edward Norton Fight Club crazy look as he watches the buildings fall down.

    On the other hand, if you'd made 'Tubular Bells' your opening bid, 'Where is My Mind' would have seemed like an excellent compromise.